I choose to struggle with me. Somehow I do not work as a whole. What the heart desires collides too often with what the brain decides. I keep pushing for the cold, hard facts. Making myself believe that what I assume to know is what everybody else will do.
I choose to believe what hurt mind and broken soul decided in collaboration. Together they piece a cynic view, a rationalist thought about everything and everyone I see.
I choose the believe that you are smiling at me because you want something. That your subtle touch means not that you like me, but that I owe you something. I expect no-thing and hence I shall not be disappointed. But then again, I won’t be able to handle some-thing.
Therefore I choose to hate being in love. Being victim to all the feelings and ridicule thoughts and falsely planted hope. Not being able to sleep because my mind had to cross-reference all of your signs and run possible what-ifs while my heart got itself high on memories. And takes off on a butterfly.
(Something scribbled down around 6 years ago)
George R. R. Martin and Stephen King at the Kiva Auditorium, Albuquerque NM June 2016
…not my video, not my channel. Just sharing the awesome.
Oh! Hi. Fancy meeting you here.
Have not written anything in weeks. Don’t know why. I think I may be afraid of delving into the details of the stories. Carving them out of the Blob of an idea I dropped out of my mind months ago.
And I also continue buying books without reading a lot. I mean I have 25 books read so far, but still I feel like I am behind because I bought so many.
Here’s the latest Haul, somehow this year is the year of Trilogies.
- Misspent Youth [Commonwealth Saga Prequel] – Peter F.Hamilton
- Judas Unchained [Commonwealth Saga] – Peter F. Hamilton
- Pandora’s Star [Commonwealth Saga] – Peter F.Hamilton
- The Three Body Problem [Three Body Problem 1] – Cixin Liu
- The Dark Forest – Cixin Liu [Three Body Problem 2] – Cixin Liu
- Death’s End – Cixin Liu [Three Body Problem 3] – Cixin Liu
- Ancillary Justice [Imperial March 1] – Ann Leckie
- Ancillary Sword [Imperial March 2] – Ann Leckie
- Ancillary Mercy [Imperial March 3] – Ann Leckie
- Descender Volume 4: Orbital Mechanics – Jeff Lemire
- Monstress Volume 2: The Blood – Morjorie Liu
- His Dark Materials [1-3] – Philip Pullman
Hopefully this writing block is coming to an end soon.